Connective Communication’s CEO & Founder Jennifer Morgan lit up the Exchange stage with her workshop, Escape the Sea of Sameness. The session provided advisors with practical tools for standing out in meetings and making lasting impressions. Morgan left the stage frequently, directly connecting with the with the audience and demonstrating her conversational tools in action.
She opened the workshop with a surprise question, leveraging it to focus the discussion on opportunity cost. Asking people how much money would have to be on the ground to warrant the time and effort to pick it up, Morgan shared that Neil DeGrasse Tyson once calculated that the wealthiest person in the world would need $45,000 to warrant the three seconds it would take to pick up the money. “The one thing that’s flawed about the opportunity cost equation is that it doesn’t account for the emotional cost.”
Emotional Contagions
How people show up in the world manifests physically. A person who is stressed out, even without saying a word, demonstrates their emotional state. “Emotional contagion is internal dialogue becoming external action.” When people talk about or think about things they love, they light up, and that can be infectious to other people in the room. A warm, happy person can uplift those around them and, conversely, being in a dour state can bring the vibes of a room down.
Morgan shared the power of thinking about things you love to cleanse the emotional palette after rough meetings. “Sometimes we bring a stressor from a previous meeting into the next meeting — we don’t have to do that.”
Morgan on Respecting Time
Sometimes simple actions, such as setting an agenda, can be extreme acts of respect and care. It shows people that you value their time enough to not waste it or be disorganized.
“If you build a relationship, business can come later.” Focusing on what the people you are working with need and meeting those needs can be a difference maker. “Consistency plus integrity earns trust. Say you are going to do something, and then do it,” Morgan said.
Phones Can Disconnect
The mere presence of a phone can prevent a meaningful connection in person. Putting the phone out of sight means we aren’t worrying about it or waiting for some other external notification to interrupt the conversation. This allows us to be more present.
“Naturally, we mirror each other’s body language,” Morgan said, noting that if someone at a meeting looks at their phone, others start to do the same. Suddenly everyone is checked out.
Opening Gambits
“How do you shock and awe or surprise and delight people?” Morgan said. How you open or introduce yourself is an opportunity to truly stand out. You don’t want to burn that opportunity with filler.
“You have seven to nine seconds to gain someone’s attention.” Morgan recommended having a fifteen word introduction ready that covers what do you do, who you work with and support, and the impact. The who, the what, and the why, essentially.
Morgan shared that when you listen attentively, people enjoy speaking. You can give a good impression simply by being a detective and paying attention to what people are saying and doing.
Being Prepared Is Critical, According to Morgan
Knowing what you are going to say and having a game plan can go a long way in every interaction. Knowing what to do when things go well and what you can do when things go sideways can differentiate you. “Information is your currency, sharing it pays dividend.”
Of course, the unexpected can happen. As Morgan noted earlier in the presentation, people tend to mirror the emotional reactions of people around them. If you panic, others will.
"We can only control three things: How we act, how we react, and how we respond."
The Power of the Pause
Many people worry about the words they are going to say, but do not leverage or understand the power of the pause. It takes people 8 seconds to respond to a question. That 8 seconds can feel like an eternity. Morgan offered that you can set up questions in advance, giving their brains the time to think through. “People need time.”
Pausing can also create active listening. If there’s a steady stream of words, then a sudden silence can refocus people.
Morgan on Following Up
Following up quickly can be helpful, though you need to be careful you aren't being too pushy. That said, you can set the parameters for how you converse with someone as you are meeting with them. "When you are on the call, you are making the next meeting." Asking people open ended questions and letting them control the parameters of engagement is important, because everyone is unique and coming into a conversation with different circumstances, baggage, and history.
We learn about people over time. "Be very very careful about assuming something about someone else when you initially engage with them."
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