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If your sales conversations aren’t leading to meaningful results, it’s not because your offering isn’t good enough. It’s not because your pricing is too high or the competition is too fierce. It’s because your approach to the conversation is broken.
Here’s the hard truth: Most sales conversations fail because they’re built on outdated tactics that create pressure instead of connection. Think about it. How many times have you been told to “overcome objections,” “handle resistance,” or “close the deal”?
These phrases alone set the tone for conflict, positioning you and your prospect on opposite sides of the table. What should be a collaborative dialogue becomes a battle of wills.
When people feel pressured, they shut down. They stop listening, they stop engaging, and they start looking for the nearest exit.
So, how do you fix this? How do you turn a failing sales conversation into one that builds trust and leads to real opportunities?
Step 1: Stop selling, start listening
The first step is simple: Stop selling. Yes, you read that right. Stop selling and start listening. Most advisors are so focused on solutions, they avoid diving deep into the prospect’s problem. But, here’s the thing: If you don’t fully understand your prospect’s world, how can you possibly offer them something meaningful?
Instead of jumping into solution mode, start by asking questions that uncover the truth of their situation — questions like, “What’s been your biggest financial challenge recently?” or “What’s not working as well as you’d like it to?”
These kinds of questions show you’re genuinely interested in their world, not just trying to push your agenda. When people feel heard, they open up. They start to trust you.
Step 2: Create a space for honesty
The second step is to create a safe space for honesty. Most prospects are guarded when they initially meet you because they’ve been burned before. They’ve dealt with advisors who only cared about winning their business, not fully understanding their problems. To break that wall of distrust, you need to show that you’re different.
One way to do this is by diffusing pressure early on. For example, instead of saying, “I’d love to show you how we can help,” try saying, “I’m not sure if what we do is a fit for you yet, but if it makes sense, we can explore it together.”
This simple shift in language removes the pressure and puts the decision in their hands. It shows that you’re not here to sell to them; you’re here to help them.
Step 3: Don’t focus on the sale
The third step is to focus on the truth, not the sale. Most advisors are so focused on getting to “yes” that they ignore red flags along the way. But here’s the thing: A “yes” built on half-truths and assumptions will always fall apart later. Instead, aim to get to the truth of their situation, even if it means hearing a “no.” When you prioritize the truth, you build trust. Trust is what leads to long-term relationships and opportunities.
So, what does this look like in practice? It means being willing to ask the tough questions, such as: “Is this a priority for you right now?” or “What would stop you from moving forward with this?”
These questions might feel uncomfortable, but they’re necessary. They show you’re not afraid to have an honest conversation and that you’re more interested in solving the problem than making the sale.
Here’s the kicker: When you approach sales conversations this way, something amazing happens. People start to lean in, they start to trust you, and they start to see you as a partner—not a salesperson.
At the end of the day, sales isn’t about convincing someone to buy. It’s about creating an environment where they feel safe enough to tell you the truth. When you can do that, you’ll never have to “sell” again.
So, the next time you’re in a sales conversation, ask yourself: Are you building trust, or creating pressure? The answer to that question will determine whether your conversation succeeds or fails.
Ari Galper is the world’s No. 1 authority on trust-based selling and is the most sought-after high net worth/lead generation expert for financial advisors. His newest book, “Trust In A Split Second” has become an instant best-seller among financial advisors worldwide – you can get a Free copy of Ari’s book here and, when you click the “YES” button in the order form, you’ll also receive a complimentary “plug up the holes” lead generation consultation. Ari has been featured in CEO Magazine, Forbes, INC Magazine and the Financial Review. He is considered a contrarian in the financial services industry and in his book, everything you learned about selling will be turned upside down. No more chasing, no pressure, no closing.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives