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Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
Dear Readers,
When this article runs, I will be on my once-per-year vacation with my family celebrating my daughter’s graduation from college. She is the third of three, so we feel like we have been given a huge raise. Celebrating this significant event made me think of different questions I wish our advisors had asked us along the way to consider what planning we needed to do and how to think about the milestones.
Here are some important insights and good open-ended questions to ask your clients to make sure they are thinking through life decisions:
1. It is normal for most advisors to talk about retirement planning — dreams and goals — with their clients. Unless you have an UHNW (ultra-high net worth) clientele who doesn’t worry about this, it’s the typical conversation to have. We were older parents, so retirement and college funding had to happen at the same time. I wish we had more conversations around how to help the kids choose schools — what was most important and how to minimize payments and maximize the college experience.
There are options to take community college courses over the summer before college starts to cover gen ed credits or to take courses during winter or summer during the school year at less expensive institutions. Two hundred thousand dollars for a four-year degree, not counting all of the living costs and travel costs, was a big nut to cover. Talking with an advisor about strategies and what they’ve seen other clients do could have been very helpful.
Questions an advisor might ask include:
a. How much have you budgeted for college?
b. What do you want to do for a “cap” on college funding?
c. How will you help your child select a school when the time is right?
d. What factors matter to both you and your child in the college journey and beyond?
2. Thinking about what matters long before retirement can be very important. I recently posted a LinkedIn story about the rescue work we do. We have fostered over 800 cats and dogs over the last 20 years. It’s an expensive “hobby” because we fund everything necessary, and we also have many pets of our own.
This could have been considered a retirement focus for us, but I wanted to do something to give back when my kids were young and could understand what we were doing and why. It cultivated a love of animals, of rescue and of “doing good” in all three of them, so it was well worth it. Talking with an advisor about hopes, dreams and expensive hobbies before retirement and in working years can be very valuable.
Questions to ask include:
a. If you had a magic wand and could wave it to focus on something while you are still working, despite the cost, what would it be?
b. What might matter to start doing now so that you have interests and hobbies to take into retirement?
c. What costs are associated with the things you love to do?
d. What life values do you have that motivate you and engage you?
3. Engaging the kids early on is very important and can help them develop a lifelong interest in saving and financial planning. Both my husband and I are financially savvy people. He holds a CFA designation, and I have held many licenses and financial roles. We both understand the importance of teaching financial considerations as early as possible. All three of our children are savers and understand how much easier it is to spend money than to make it!
It is never too early to start. I remember starting to give my kids a $20 bill and tell them that’s all the money they had to spend when we went to stores. My son was around 10, and when he saw how much those cheap plastic toys that he had previously liked cost, he ceased asking for them! Talking with an advisor about how to talk to your kids about finances is important as the advisor may have resources to offer or be willing to speak with your kids directly.
Questions an advisor might ask include:
a. What do your children know about money and finances? (This can start as early as grade school!)
b. What do you share with your children about the cost of things and how you make decisions about what to buy and why?
c. What values do you espouse when it comes to money?
d. What fear or delight do you instill in your children that is money related?
4. Identify any potential costs associated with elder care and helping parents when they need it in their later years. This is one that I rarely see listed on the financial details or financial intake forms of my advisor clients. The cost of caring for an elderly or infirm person is astronomical, whether you do home care, assisted living or a nursing home — even if you buy long-term care insurance to cover costs.
In many cases, parents have saved enough to defray the costs of what they need, but in just as many cases the grown children are bearing much of the burden. Understanding what resources there are and how to best determine where to spend the money and how to navigate the expense can be critical. Talking with your advisor about what they’ve seen other clients do, or what options there might be and the pros and cons, can be critical long before the need is there.
Questions to ask include:
a. How healthy are your parents, both physically and financially?
b. What decisions have they made to care for themselves if they fall ill or can’t take care of themselves for some reason?
c. What financial responsibility might you and your siblings have for their care?
d. Who will make the primary decisions for your parents when it is necessary?
e. What steps have they taken with estate planning, wills or insurance?
5. Learn how to have fun while you are still working. When I ran a full-service 401(k) department many years ago, it always irked me that we focused on the fear factor of saving, and indicated that only once you reach retirement will you reach Nirvana. Work is just a means to an end in the way we pushed people to save.
I still believe saving for retirement is critical and starting as early as possible is very important. However, I have also learned that time doesn’t wait and we never know what’s around the corner. Finding ways to balance saving with spending is important. My main goal was to take my family of five to as many countries as possible, so while I saved, I also spent what was needed to enjoy a fulfilling life of travel. Talking with your advisor about what’s reasonable in the now is important to keep balance in your life between the future and the present.
Questions an advisor might ask include:
a. What matters most to you to accomplish during your working years?
b. What family focus or family dynamics do you have in place or want to have in place?
c. What would be something, if you could afford it before retirement, you would celebrate being able to pay for?
d. What do you and your spouse or significant other consider important enough to put money away for now? What about for your future goals?
These are some key areas for an advisor to consider in working with their clients. If you haven’t had these conversations, perhaps bring them up in future discussions to get your clients to think about things a little differently. The more you stand out by asking the questions they don’t even think about, the more they will see you as their partner and advocate, not just their advisor.
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry, in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. The firm has won the Wealthbriefing WealthTech award for Best Training Solution for 2022, 2023, 2024 and 2025. Beverly is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate and graduate students Entrepreneurship and Leading Teams. She is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
