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While everyone’s divorce is different, one thing just about everyone will tell you about divorce is that it’s expensive. There are several reasons for that, chiefly the lack of education and awareness and the habitual use of lawyers rather than mediators.
We see lawyers working on divorces in television shows and in movies. It’s been ingrained into our heads that if we need to get divorced, we must start shopping around for and retaining an attorney. But that’s not necessarily the most prudent or fiscally responsible route to take.
After all, attorneys are litigators by nature; they get paid to fight each other. Therefore, it’s not in their best interest for a former couple’s case to resolve quickly and easily.
But there are other professionals who can help people get divorced, including mediators. There are even certified divorce financial analysts(R) like myself. We have become designated mediators to help streamline and cut costs during this process.
For instance, if I handle a divorce for one of my clients, the entire mediation, including the drafting of the Memorandum of Understanding, which can be used as the divorce decree, can be done for less than $2,000. Ask anyone if they’ve spent less than $5,000 on getting divorced and the audience will get mighty quiet.
Other Benefits of Mediation
Mediations aren’t just cheaper than divorces; they can also help the people involved stick to what they’ve agreed to. After all, if a client is more directly involved in drafting the agreement, they’re also more apt to follow what’s been outlined.
Additionally, mediation can take some of the heavy emotional charge out of the situation by breaking it down to just the issues and stripping away the hurt feelings.
Many of the courts are also still backlogged from COVID-19. While an attorney-led divorce can take years, in part because of the court system, mediated divorces can be wrapped up in a matter of weeks.
Mediated divorces are also not a matter of public record. So if there are any details you’d like to remain at the mediation table, this is the best route to take.
What Can Mediators Do?
Another reason people might turn to lawyers first for their divorce is that they feel as if their situation is too complex to be handled elsewhere. That’s a myth.
Mediators can handle situations including spousal and child support; parenting plans and custody schedules; division of assets and debts; and future boundaries. That being said, mediators aren’t the best course of action in all situations.
When Do You Truly Need a Lawyer?
For couples where there has been a history of or threats of domestic violence, hiding of assets or otherwise a severe power imbalance, a lawyer is best positioned to help the people arrive at the best conclusion and get any legal protections they might need.
But for many couples who would like to divide more of their assets rather than handing them over to attorneys, a mediator can help them get divorced quickly and quietly.
Jamie Lima, CDFA(R), founder and president of Allegiant Divorce Solutions, a financial advisory practice dedicated to the specific needs of divorcees.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
