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The most challenging assignments I receive start with the advisor asking: “I had a great meeting with a prospect. Now I’m being ghosted. What should I do?”
How – and even whether – to follow up with a prospect ignoring you is a subject of spirited debate among advisors and consultants.
What is “ghosting”?
"Ghosting" occurs when a prospect abruptly ceases communication after an initial meeting or interaction. This behavior can be perplexing and frustrating, leaving advisors uncertain how to proceed.
Why does ghosting occur?
Ghosting is commonly associated with dating relationships. We can learn from the experience of those who thought they were in a promising relationship, and then found themselves “ghosted.”
It’s more frequent than you might believe. Some estimates say 60-70% of “emerging adults” have ghosted someone.
The reasons people choose to end relationships by ghosting vary. A common rationale, which may also apply to the advisor-prospect situation, is avoiding an unpleasant interaction.
It’s also possible the prospect isn’t ready to decide or is preoccupied with other matters, and getting back to you isn’t a priority.
Why ghosting hurts
Advisors often find being the subject of ghosting painful. My clients express rejection, anger, disappointment, and even depression.
Understanding the mindset of the ghosting prospect and your reaction to this behavior is the first step in crafting an effective follow-up strategy.
The goal of a follow-up message
When a follow-up message conveys appreciation or encouragement, it can trigger the release of neurotransmitters like serotonin and oxytocin. These neurotransmitters are associated with happiness, trust, and social bonding.
An effective follow up triggers the release of these neurotransmitters.
How to follow-up
Technology plays a significant role in how we engage in follow-up communications. Email, social media, and messaging apps have become primary channels for staying connected.
Research conducted by the Pew Research Center highlighted the prevalence of digital communication in our lives. The study found that most Americans use digital platforms for communication, with email being a prominent tool for professional follow-up communications.
From a neuroscientific perspective, digital follow-up communications can have positive and negative effects.
On the positive side, the immediacy of digital messages can lead to faster dopamine release and feelings of reward when we receive quick responses or acknowledgments.
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But the constant influx of digital messages can also overwhelm the brain's cognitive resources, leading to stress and decreased well-being.
Implementing the research
On balance, I recommend against following up using e-mail. You’re fighting with many other e-mails vying for attention at that moment. There’s a temptation to respond quickly without much reflection.
Instead, consider a handwritten note or a traditional letter sent via snail mail. Both convey more thought and are likely to receive a more considered response.
Here are some suggestions for the substance of your communication.
Empathetic reconnection
Your message should acknowledge their previous silence and express genuine understanding. Avoid blaming or pressuring them. Instead, focus on re-establishing a connection.
Relevant value proposition
Provide information or resources directly aligned with their initial interests and concerns. This could include market updates, investment-performance reports, or educational content tailored to their needs.
Respectful persistence
While persistence can be counterproductive if done insensitively, don't give up after one attempt. Follow up at reasonable intervals, allowing the prospect time to digest information and make decisions.
Final thoughts
"Ghosting" by prospects is a challenge many advisors face.
By approaching "ghosted" prospects with empathy, providing value without pressure, and respecting their autonomy, you increase your chance of re-engaging and ultimately converting them into clients.
I sometimes need to remind myself that it isn’t “all about me” when I’m ghosted. If I’m patient and await a response, the outcome is often positive.
Dan trains executives and employees in the lessons based on the research in his latest book, Ask: How to Relate to Anyone. His digital marketing firm makes extensive use of artificial intelligence to help advisors increase their SEO rankings and improve their marketing and helps advisors integrate AI into their practices.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
