Six Things Advisors Should Never Say

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There’s no clearer way to say it. Leave these garbage phrases out of your marketing.

  1. “Peace of mind”

Have you heard some of the horribly alarmist things that some advisors say? It’s rarely pacifying:

  • It’s more likely you’ll become disabled than die, although both are financially ruinous situations.
  • Don’t spoil your kids or they’ll ruin your family’s fortune.
  • You might run out of money unless you use my hackneyed Monte Carlo simulation.
  • The Fed is ruining the country permanently.
  • Don’t let cybercriminals steal your life savings.

Look, you’re not yoga instructors.

Can we establish here that most of you are in the business of increasing anxiety on purpose to create a demand for your services? While it may be true that what you do has a tranquilizing effect, it’s usually aimed at extinguishing the fires that you set in the first place.

  1. “We sit on the same side of the table as our clients”

Oh, please.

AUM advisors are famous for using this phrase, but it’s ludicrous. You’re not on the same side of the table as the client – you’re not even at the same table.

It’s not your money. It’s theirs. There is no way you can sit at the same table.

In fact, you are not sitting at any table. You are the chef cooking the filet mignon and they are eating it. You’re not sitting next to them sipping the Dom Pérignon, okay, because it’s not your job to sit there and lounge around.