A Radically Different Approach to Changing Minds

A flawed assumption

A recent study helped me understand a flawed assumption that prevented me from being more persuasive. I blame it on my law school training.

I was taught that marshalling facts in a compelling way was the key to being an effective advocate. In the context of jury trials, that’s still good advice. But this protocol can be counter-productive in other contexts.

I learned this lesson the hard way when I was an advisor. At that time, there was an intense debate over whether “active” or “passive” funds were superior.

When I met with clients, my training kicked in. I presented what I thought was overwhelming evidence of the superiority of passive management. I engaged in this discussion hundreds of times. Looking back, I can’t recall a single instance where a proponent of active management was persuaded to consider a passive approach to investing.

A better way

I was not alone in my belief that facts and statistics foster respect and are likely to change minds. The study found 56% of participants surveyed shared this view. Only 21% thought sharing personal experiences would have the same impact.

The problem with using facts and statistics is that they can be questioned and countered with other facts. But sharing personal experiences has an aura of unimpeachability.

In one experiment, the researchers reviewed 300,978 comments for 194 YouTube videos that discussed the polarizing issue of abortion. They found videos providing personal experiences had comments “with more positive emotion words” and “were also significantly more likely to include affiliative words” (showing empathy).

Sharing personal experiences also increases the perceived rationality of those doing the sharing, which fosters respect.

Similar results were found on the issues of gun control and climate change. When advocates for change on these issues told stories of personal harm, rather than just marshalling facts and statistics, they were perceived as more persuasive.

Ramifications for advisors

The focus of this research was on political divides and how to bridge them, but the findings should be of interest to advisors.

When confronted with prospects who are focused on “beating the market” through active management, I would have been more persuasive putting facts and statistics aside. Instead, I should have talked about my experience picking stocks or trying to time the market and suffering losses as a consequence, while acknowledging that the prospect might still succeed where I failed.

There are other reasons why using facts and statistics is counterproductive. Our short-term memory only retains information for 15-30 seconds and it usually lasts for only about one minute. In addition, our short-term memory can only hold relatively few items at a time, so inundating someone with data is unlikely to have the desired impact.

Other studies have shown that emotions play a powerful role in our ability to remember and recall experiences. Researchers theorize that our “attention is instinctively drawn to emotive subjects.”

In your interactions with prospects and clients, avoid inundating them with facts and statistics. Instead, seek to make an emotional connection by asking questions and then following-up with additional inquiries.

If you are in a situation where you must persuade them, do so by sharing experiences rather than presenting data.

Dan trains executives and employees in the lessons based on the research on his latest book, Ask: How to Relate to Anyone. His online course, Ask: Increase Your Sales. Deepen Your Relationships, is currently available.

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