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Recent research, Developing and Maintaining Client Trust and Commitment in a Rapidly Changing Environment, has highlighted a mismatch between advisor and client assessments of the communication and connection skills of advisors. It is a must-read. Whether you believe advisors are overconfident or clients are overcritical isn't as important as the client dissatisfaction that the paper makes plain. Of all its findings, the one I find most revealing is that 68% of planners said they used a "systematic process to help clarify values and priorities," and 60% of clients agreed. That's the closest the two get, which tells me that improving processes isn’t the lesson here. Moreover, clients don't respond to processes; they respond to people. Your client's experience is inseparable from their experience of you as a human being.
Fortunately, you can do plenty to improve your client's experience, and you don't need any software or other tools to do it. All you need is your presence – your way of being human. And that springs from your connection to yourself. A second-order effect is deeper attunement and a better connection with clients.
I'm a Brown University-trained mindfulness teacher with over a decade of experience. I created a course, Mindfulness for Financial Advisors, in 2019 and have taught it to hundreds of advisors. I'm also married to a CFP®, and I'm a weapons-grade introvert who frequently finds herself at parties full of advisors, explaining the far-reaching effects of a single mindfulness practice – the body scan.
Advisors often call the body scan magic, but there's no sorcery involved. Instead, it’s a practice of noticing the wisdom you carry around inside you all day, which you have a habit of not noticing or even avoiding. And here's the kicker: What’s happening in your body affects how you walk, speak, and listen, as well as what you see and hear. This includes whether you sense your own anxiety or that of your clients, and how skillfully you handle your emotions as well as those of your clients (areas found to be wanting in the above study).
Here are three crucial times to enlist the body scan and how to do it in those moments.
- Before a meeting
Before you go into a meeting, close your eyes, settle your body and mind, and scan your body with your attention, as if it were a flashlight. Move the flashlight of your attention slowly from the tips of your toes up to the top of your head. Notice what sensations and thoughts are present in your mind. Are you tired? Over-caffeinated? Ruminating about a conversation from yesterday? Obsessing about Elon's Twitter shenanigans? This is crucial information; this noise can negatively impact your way of being, mainly because you don't realize it's there until you quiet yourself and listen to your interior. Once you've noticed whatever is there, allow any emotions and thoughts you're having to pass, and don’t ridicule yourself. Life is hard enough; you don’t need to pile on yourself for being human. Your emotions and thoughts won’t pass if you continue to engage with them, and that includes by beating yourself up over them. Some sensations will remain, such as those relating to exhaustion (sleep is critical, people, and nothing replaces it!). If you're experiencing pain or fatigue or you're hungover, be careful with what you say and don't make any decisions during the meeting. Make that a rule for yourself. (And you and your clients should make similar rules together.)
- One more thing before that meeting
Next, recall the person you're about to meet with and notice what happens in your mind and body. Does your stomach instantly flip or your jaw tense when you imagine your client or even think of their name? Biases, and even certainty about how another person will behave, can be felt in the body and mind if you spend a moment being curious about your experience. Again, don’t beat yourself up over this; notice what’s occurring and allow it to pass.
Besides, certainty about how your client is going to react or what you're going to say in response only functions to close you off from allowing things to organically arise. Approach every meeting with beginner's mind – with curious friendliness, wondering what's going to happen. Who knows?
- About that agenda . . .
Yes, you have an agenda. And I understand you believe there are things you need to accomplish in that meeting. But your client might arrive with more urgent matters that they may not realize they're experiencing. If you push forward with your agenda, you'll never know that something else was more important to them. And an opportunity for connection and trust-building will be lost. Hold your agenda lightly and remain open to receiving the whole person you're meeting with. Welcome all that they bring to the meeting and allow it to unfold. We are social mammals who have evolved to help and heal each other through our social connection. But you need to be present and grounded for that connection and its help to be available.
The body scan’s benefits are profound. The practice is a form of self-care, it cultivates self-awareness, and it’s the mechanism for connection and empathy. When you befriend what you’re feeling and treat yourself with compassion, the result is increased well-being and a more skillful way of being, for yourself and your clients.
Mary Martin, PhD is a trauma-sensitive Mindfulness Educator, the creator of the 8-week course, Mindfulness for Financial Advisors (7.5 CFP CEs), and the author of Mindfulness for Financial Advisors: Practicing a New Way of Being (Advisor’s Academy Press, available in June). She can be reached at www.marymartinphd.com or [email protected].
Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
