What if Your Next Client is Autistic?
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Whenever I talk to financial advisors about autism, the response I get is something like, “Sara, my clients are high net worth individuals. They are not autistic.”
Well, think again.
Autism, like any developmental condition, is a broad category and each individual experiences it differently. But instead of talking over autistic people – as is often the case – my two autistic friends Bernard and Burnett Grant have graciously shared with me how they experience the world and what this means for financial advisors who will be serving them.
Burnett is a lab technician who makes commercial flavors. Bernard is a writer and editor, and he just finished his PhD in English.
Here’s a video of my interview.
What is autism (according to autistic people)?
Let’s start with the basic definition of autism. It is not what neurotypical people define it to be (again, talking over), but what it really is – from the perspective of people who are autistic.
Look on any medical website and you’ll usually see definitions of autism like this one, from the CDC:
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a developmental disability…People with ASD often have problems with social, emotional, and communication skills. They might repeat certain behaviors and might not want change in their daily activities.
This is the definition of autism propagated by the medical community, doctors, therapists, etc. and it makes autism sound like a miserable curse!
Now let’s consider a definition written by Bernard on his Autism Resources page:
Autism is a healthy variation of the human condition. Autists are not tragedies, nor are we defective. We are justice-seeking neurodivergent people who view and experience the world autistically – logically, in systems, in details, and in our own space and time – living autistic lifestyles.
Autism, a natural neurological variance, is part of the next evolutionary step of the human species, and if autists must learn about the social constructs of the neurotypical world in order to navigate and participate in society, society will benefit from learning about autists: our adherences to truth and routines, our tenacity and resilience, our honesty and directness, our logical, intelligent minds, and our deep interests, on which we hyper-focus, developing expertise.
Autism is a neurotype, a form of neurodivergence, not an illness.
Thank you, Bernard!
But, he adds, it’s impossible to apply a single definition to an entire neurotype.
Right on, again!
Autism is playing a bigger part in society as enablement increases
Tell me, folks, are we talking about the same thing here? How could those two definitions – the CDC’s and Bernard’s – apply to the same thing?
The clinical definition talks about what autistic people cannot do.
On the other hand, Bernard talks about autism as the gift that it is – not a deficit or a disorder like the medical community wants you to believe – and the power that enablement brings.
CDC data says that one in 54 children in the U.S. is diagnosed with autism. In 2000, this rate was one in 150, according to Scientific American. There has been a surge globally as well. This is due to earlier identification (here in the U.S., kids are screened by pediatricians starting at age two) as well as changes in diagnostic criteria.
To put this in a practical context, picture the hallway of an elementary school in a small town of about 12,000 people.
- If there are four kindergarten classes, there is an autistic child in two of those classrooms.
- If it were the 1980s, there wouldn’t even have been an autistic child diagnosed with autism in the school or in the entire town.
Higher prevalence brings more awareness and the stereotypes holding back progress are starting to crack.
Stereotypes about autistic people
Here are some examples.
Autistic people are unemployed and broke (and hence wouldn’t need financial advice).
Elon Musk revealed on a recent SNL appearance that he is autistic.
Autistic people do work, but many hide their neurotype due to fear of being judged. Unemployment was higher in the past, when there wasn’t as much workplace enablement of folks with autism. However, due to factors such as earlier identification and more advanced therapeutic techniques, autistic people are increasingly participating in the workforce – and some are earning a heck a lot of dough to boot!
There are careers paths where characteristics that autistic people may have, such as ability to detect patterns and/or pay attention to detail, are a huge benefit. In fact, Microsoft, Aspiritech, Dell, and IBM have specific hiring programs for people with autism.
As direct proof, I have been asked by my gainfully employed autistic friends who the good financial advisors are.
They’re all non-vocal or savant-like
Perhaps because it carries more dramatic flair, the movies usually portray one or two images of autistic people – a non-vocal or savant-like individual like in Rain Man. While it’s true that many autistic people are non-vocal and a small percentage are savants, every individual experiences autism differently.
They can’t socialize appropriately
People of the same neurotype socialize well together. If you were to put one neurotypical person in a space where everyone else was autistic, they would be the ones looking like they had social difficulties. Autistic people can and do get married and have children, if that is what they desire in life.
Autistic people want to be “normal” (neurotypical) and are sad they can’t be
Neurotypical is not normal – it is just another neurotype. Autistic people don’t necessarily want to change their neurotype into a “normal” one.
Bernard says that when he first got on LinkedIn and people found out he was autistic, they would call him “brave” for trying to overcome his autism. People said they found it “inspiring” and that he was “going to get through this.”
He never knew quite what they were talking about.
Autism is an illness or divergent disorder.
There is nothing wrong with autistic people. They do not need to be corrected. They do not behave poorly. Usually, these absurd ideas are propagated by people who are not autistic in the medical community.
Let me ask you this.
Would you ask an autistic person about what it’s like to be neurotypical?
No.
Then why, by the same reasoning, would you expect a neurotypical person to adequately understand the experience of being autistic?
Bernard says that he doesn’t profess to know everything about how the neurotypical mind works. He just accepts that neurotypical people are hard for him to understand, but he doesn’t judge them, call them sick, say that they are mentally ill, or ostracize them because of their “quirks” or oddities. He doesn’t pretend to understand everything about their minds.
Autistic people have processing delay
If someone asks a question and an autistic person takes a moment to answer, the processing is not delayed. In some cases, they may be translating their thoughts into pictures, so that they can translate that picture into words. And at the same time, they are thinking about the words they are saying. They are processing; they’re just not vocalizing.
Blending is beautiful
About a year ago, my five (then four) year-old son was diagnosed with autism. Everyone I told reacted as if it were a death sentence and it was going to end my career. By that point, teachers had already given up on him. Doctors told me there wasn’t much hope.
Yet, despite how doomed everyone said we were, I insisted on viewing autism as an empowering gift. I gathered 20 people to walk beside me and to support my son’s enablement. Therapists, teachers, coaches, friends, autistic individuals like Bernard and Burnett, YouTube influencers. We’ve been so blessed to have these amazing people as part of our life.
The results?
One year later, he’s in an arts-focused elementary school where the teachers take a multi-disciplinary approach to teaching. They accept him and play to his strengths, not weaknesses. He can write a full sentence, whereas last year at this time he would throw the crayons against the wall and scream, “I can’t do it, Mom!” His hands were too weak. But now he can button his shirt. He’s slowly learning to share, make friends and his meltdowns have decreased.
I’ve always felt that having an autistic child is extraordinary. When he was three, I remember trying to teach him the difference between a penny, nickel, and dime. I showed him two pennies and told him they were the same. “But Mom”, he said, “they’re not. This penny has this number on it and the other one has a different number.” He was talking about the year of issue. And he was right – the two pennies were not identical. He was seeing it literally. I should have taught him that the two pennies have the same value, not that they’re the same.
By learning to try to see the world through my son’s eyes, it’s made a profound impact on my ability to empathize with other people. When I see people who exhibit responses that I don’t understand (a facial expression, ignoring an email, etc.), I ask myself what it is that I don’t understand about the experience they are having.
To understand each other is to make our differences bloom. We have to learn to pause, silently observe and question politely. This is how to value and respect our differences instead of trying to be the one who’s right, to “cancel” and talk over each other, or worse yet, to live in fear and avoid interacting with those with whom we have differences. Nobody has to change, but we can just give a little bit more of ourselves to each other.
We can blend.
Blending is beautiful, and it’ll make us stronger together than we were before.
The autistic experience and your financial advisor practice
You may have autistic clients in the future, or you may have them now without even knowing it. Or, your clients’ children, your employees, or your vendors may be autistic. Here are some ways to enable these individuals to thrive in an inclusive setting.
Accept their differences and don’t point them out
People are always telling Bernard, “Oh, that’s unusual,” or calling him quirky. Why do his mannerisms matter?
Don’t be put off by questions
Autistic people are sometimes frustrated by the lack of specificity with which neurotypical people operate. They’re not being combative when they ask questions. They’re not trying to fight with you. They’re literal-minded people trying to understand what you are saying.
When people can engage reflectively instead of shutting down or canceling each other, conversations are constructive.
Ask about accommodations
Everyone has triggers. Autistic people often respond to stimuli from the external environment. For example, my son has meltdowns when there is loud music. Bernard says that life is a lot louder and brighter for him than most people. If he goes to the grocery store, he wears earbuds because the music makes him very tired and then he can’t think.
For some people it’s light; for others it’s smell; for others, heat. No two people experience the world the same – so ask how they work best. Before a meeting, ask, “What do you need, how can I best accommodate you?” This is great not just to ask autistic people – but for anyone.
Check out the concept of universal design, which aims to maximize the success of a physical environment for all who use it.
Be open to non-conventional communication styles
Sometimes your client may need to be communicated with via email instead of through words. Autistic people may have situational mutism – I’ve seen this with my son – and they don’t know when it’s going to be triggered.
This was a huge problem when my son was in preschool. His teachers were baffled about why they couldn’t force him to talk to the other kids. I can’t imagine how awful this was for my son.
Don’t misinterpret lack of eye contact
My son doesn’t always make eye contact. Autistic people may find it uncomfortable. Don’t interpret it as rude or that the person is lying if you don’t get eye contact.
Tone down the flash photography in your videos
Flashing lights and images on a screen can be disturbing for autistic people. Please consider that if you want to include this audience, toning down the special effects in your videos may make them more accessible.
Change may cause anxiety
Many autistic people have anxiety and a new environment, a break in routine, or a disruption in pattern may trigger it.
Bernard cites the example of using video chat. If an autistic person is able to Zoom with you from the comfort of their own home, it may induce less anxiety and allow them to focus on the conversation.
Lay off the body contact
Autistic people may be more sensitive to touch. As crazy as it sounds, I have to ask my son if I can hug and kiss him.
Not sure how professional hugging your client is anyways…
Sara’s upshot
We can enable each other, but we have to pay more attention. As an inclusive society, we will become stronger by the full contribution from all of our members.
Learn as much as you can from autistic people. There are autistic influencers on social media such as my friend Daniel Jones who has a YouTube channel about autism. Please check out Autism Resources by Bernard Grant.
This August, I’m going to be hosting a diversity panel in which we talk about how financial advisors can build practices that accommodate differences in race, neurotype, and more. I’ll provide information about how to sign up in future articles.
Sara Grillo, CFA, is a marketing consultant who helps investment management, financial planning, and RIA firms fight the tendency to scatter meaningless clichés on their prospects and bore them as a result. Prior to launching her own firm, she was a financial advisor.
Sources
Berman, Michelle, MD. (2021, May 18). Elon Musk’s Asperger’s Syndrome. https://www.medpagetoday.com/popmedicine/celebritydiagnosis/92658
CDC. What is autism spectrum disorder? Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/facts.html
National Disability Authority. What is Universal Design? Retrieved from http://universaldesign.ie/What-is-Universal-Design/
Wilson, Bernadette. (2020, February 7). Daivergent. 7 Tech Companies That Hire Autistic Adults. Retrieved from https://daivergent.com/blog/companies-that-hire-autistic-adults
Wright, Jessica. (2017, March 3). Scientific American. The Real Reasons Autism Rates Are Up in the U.S. Retrieved from https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-real-reasons-autism-rates-are-up-in-the-u-s/
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