Five Steps to Get Back an Ex-Client Who Dumped You

Make this move:

In the moment of the dumping, say something completely cocky to them. Maybe something like, “Ha ha. You’ll be back!”

What it does:

A good, cocky response puts you in the position of being the counter-dumper. They expect shock, whining, begging, and pleading; if you take it in stride it takes their power away.

2. Determine if they are low value or not

You’re already living without their $10,000 in AUM fees, consider if taking them back is really the worth the effort.

Relationships break down when trust is low. Recognize these low-value clients:

• The breadcrumber: low/minimal effort response to everything you try to do with them.
• Performance chaser: almost as if they are using you for your investment ideas
• DIYer: you’ll never do it as well as they do! They’ll be parasites and tell all their friends your best investment ideas, though.

These are suboptimal, New York Yankee¹-style clients. You deserve the Boston Red Sox².

Don’t get back with someone who disrespects you. When anyone ever treats me as a lesser person, either personally or professionally, I walk away and never look back. Maybe I am cocky, but I couldn’t care less for these breadcrumbers! And, inevitably, by focusing my energy on being my best, someone more qualified, smarter, better, and with way more to offer comes along to take their place. It’s almost guaranteed.

Make this move:

Before you think about recycling these damaged relationships, see them for what they were. The client did not trust you all along. Will this be better the second time around?

What it does:

The feeling of loss can be very deceptive. You have to look hard to figure out if it was a good client who just took you for granted, or if they are in fact a low value client.

3. Make them jealous

After they leave, the dumper will be in the honeymoon phase with the new financial advisor that stole them away from you. But inevitably, little wrinkles in the relationship will surface as time moves on and reality sets in.

This is where you come in. You want to be positioned for these break points. Don’t be vindictive and block them on your social media. Stay visible to them in every way possible.

Make this move:

Use the “get my ex back” marketing strategy. You want to make them jealous of all the fun, cool things you have going on at your firm.

The “get my ex back” marketing strategy may include:

• Awesome client events posted on social media and mentioned in your newsletter
• You are the boss up in the sauce, doing all sorts of celebrity interviews and making appearances at prestigious events
• Appear to be fraternizing with people who are more successful than the ex
• Get new, better social media photos – selfies, profile pictures, headshots, etc.
• Be visible in community groups online that they are a part of and be highly social with people who know them online (example: Facebook groups)
• Send the two-line text message (see below)

You want to be your best and look great doing it.

The basic guidelines for the two-line text message (or email) are: be brief, casual, and most of all mysterious enough to get them wondering about you.

Examples:

• Having an exclusive tax strategy webinar today with some key clients and I have an extra spot. Care to join us?
• Crazy market these days…surviving?
• Just heard that “Phantom of the Opera” is coming back this season. It reminded me of how much you loved it when we went last summer.
• We’re planning an office move downtown. Since your office is there, I was wondering if you have any pointers about what to avoid.

What it does:

This stirs up the strongest human emotion: curiosity.

It shows the ex that they weren’t as a big a fish in a small pond as they thought they were. Bruising of ego and jealousy are very powerful tools in the re-attraction process. And by the way, by looking like a rock star on social media, you won’t just attract their attention – you’ll get a few new prospects along the way.

4. Force them to confirm their intentions financially

Now let’s say that step #3 works and they come crawling back. They’re not completely happy with the advisor they left you for, and they want to talk.

Do you take them right back? Remember, cockiness is key here. You have to balance out the power dynamic. Make them work hard to get you back – you are the prize to be won.

Make this move:

Delay your response for as long as you can bear. There must be a noticeable difference in how quickly you respond or else they won’t feel the challenge.

Tell them you will discuss their portfolio, but for a fee of $3,000. This makes it more of a challenge and avoids a scenario in which they feel like they are getting what they had for free.

Also, establish clear requirements that they must meet. Examples:

• Don’t give them the same high-quality professional they had before. Downgrade their account rep. You save the good reps for the loyal clients who don’t creep and cheat.
• Respond only half as quickly to them as you did before.
• Stipulate that they have to give you all their assets not just a piece. If they try to breadcrumb you in any sense, refuse to take them back.

If they reject you, remember you’re nowhere worse than where you are now, which is without their 10,000 a year in AUM fees. Show them that you are the prize to be won back.

What it does:

It makes them value you more than they did. You need to do this, or you are going to be seen as the emergency life preserver/back up plan and inevitably get dumped again.

5. Limit investment during the earn-back period

To keep the client once they come back, make them earn the right to be taken seriously. Your attitude upon re-engaging should be one of total apathy. Don’t seem too excited about them and don’t go out of your way or they take you for granted and dump you again.

And no matter what you do, under no circumstances are you to take them out to dinner.

Invest very little and act as if you have new clients that are more deserving of your attention. Because hopefully, if you did the work in step #3, you will.

If they display good behavior, then you can start to show them minor rewards. But it’s always best to demonstrate less effort than they would expect or that they got the first time around.

Sara’s upshot

Hope you enjoyed this strategy for getting your ex back. I have a fun and highly irreverent podcast that you can subscribe to here. Future episodes will focus on financial advisor lead generation and other related topics.

Sara Grillo, CFA, is a marketing consultant who helps investment management, financial planning, and RIA firms fight the tendency to scatter meaningless clichés on their prospects and bore them as a result. Prior to launching her own firm, she was a financial advisor.

¹ Substitute your designated sport rival.

² Substitute your designated sport favorite.

Read more articles by Sara Grillo