Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash
Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives
Click here to watch a video and learn more about Evidence Based Advisor Marketing.
If your ego is too loud, it stops you from reaching your goals and having a happier, more fulfilling life.
That’s the message from Scott Barry Kaufman, a psychologist at Columbia University, in an insightful article published in Scientific American.
The problem
Kaufman defines your ego as, “that aspect of the self that has the incessant need to see itself in a positive light.” He claims that, “the more the ego is quieted, the higher the likelihood of actually reaching one's goals.”
His views are shared by Mark R. Leary, the author of The Curse of Self. Leary observed that “egoism” can “profoundly affect people's lives, interfering with their success, polluting their relationships with other people, and undermining their happiness.”
Kaufman and Leary advocate self-awareness and reflection. Both are essential for reaching your goals. Problems arise when our egos are so “noisy” they actually impede the goals we are trying to achieve. Kaufman puts it this way: “A noisy ego spends so much time defending the self as if it were a real thing, and then doing whatever it takes to assert itself, that it often inhibits the very goals it is most striving for.”
The solution
Instead of adopting a defensive posture in an effort to prove you are “right,” and being concerned about self-enhancement, Kaufman suggests you quiet your egos, which will foster a sense of well-being, health, self-esteem and other benefits.
Having a quiet ego means being less concerned about getting across your point of view and more concerned with identifying with the experience of others. Instead of dominating a conversation, show your interest in what others are saying. Not only is your behavior a form of kindness, it will be perceived by the other person as being compassionate.
Everyone prefers associating with kind people over those with other traits.
Tips for implementing
Those with quiet egos have a “detached awareness,” which permits them to see both sides of an issue. They are open to reexamining their thoughts, positions and beliefs.
They have an “inclusive identity.” They are cooperative and compassionate toward others, rather than focusing on themselves.
Marketing Services For Evidence-Based Advisors...and a New Book!
We offer consulting services on how to convert more prospects into clients through Solin Consulting, a division of Solin Strategic, LLC. Our evidence-based persuasion strategies have significantly increased conversion rates for our coaching clients. I'm available to speak at events. I also provide individualized coaching using videoconferencing.
We offer a full range of digital marketing services exclusively to evidence-based advisors through Evidence Based Advisor Marketing, LLC . These services include: web and content creation and the creation of innovative videos. You can see websites we have designed, content we have drafted and videos we have produced here.
Click here to request a free, no obligation website evaluation.
I'm working on a new self-help book for the general public. It's called:
Ask
Be Liked. Be Loved. Be Better
Ask will be published in early 2020. We'll be rolling out programs for advisors who want to offer this game-changing book to their clients as a way to demonstrate value. For more information, click here. You can sign up for updates at the link (scroll down).
For more information, please contact:
Dan Solin
[email protected]
(239) 949-1606
Schedule a call with Dan here
Why it’s important
Success as an advisor is largely dependent on your ability to make an emotional connection with prospects and clients. A “noisy” ego leaves little room for focusing on others. Your bandwidth is absorbed by a preoccupation with yourself – how you are being perceived, your views on the issues, your background and expertise. The list goes on…and on.
When you quiet your ego, you appreciate it’s not about you. It’s about your ability to focus intensely on your prospect, client, loved ones and colleagues.
On a macro level, Kaufman observes, “I don't think it's an overstatement to say that the cultivation of these skills in our society would lead to greater mental health, useful reality-based information, as well as peace and unity among humans.”
Get Dan's investing insights by signing up for his free, weekly newsletter here.
Subscribe to Dan’s YouTube investing channel here.
To be listed on our Middle America's Plan website as a Preferred Advisor who offers MAP to clients, click here.
Read more articles by Dan Solin
Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives
