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I like to think I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’ve made plenty of them. Recently, I reflected on what’s worked and what hasn’t. Here are two rules that have endured.
Rule no. 1
As advisors, you’re often the center of attention. Perhaps you have written a book or sponsored events. You’re accustomed to speaking authoritatively to small and large groups of people. You’re respected – and rightfully so – for your expertise and integrity. It’s easy to believe you are “special” and at the center of everyone’s thoughts, which brings me to my first rule: It’s not about me.
In his blog post, The Paradoxical Power of Humility, Dr. Karl Albrecht set forth some important observations about humility. In his view, humility is a state of mind where we all are, “just as valuable as every other human being on the planet, no more and no less.”
Achieving this state of mind requires us to disconnect our “competitive reflex,” which is challenging. When you have achieved a certain status in life, it is tempting to believe you “know the way.” This attitude manifests itself by giving unsolicited advice and habitually redirecting the conversation back to yourself.
Albrecht asks these questions: If someone tells a joke, do you feel compelled to top it with a better one? Or, do you hold back on laughing, so the joke falls flat? Do you always have a better story, a better example, a better suggestion, or a better solution? Do you feel compelled to demonstrate how smart you are, or how much you know?
It’s counter-productive to react that way. You want others to feel, “affirmed, appreciated, encouraged, validated, and psychically nourished.” They won’t feel that way if you engage in conduct that focuses on you and ignores or trivializes them.
It’s easy to fall into this trap. You want to demonstrate your “value.” You may honestly believe you know what’s best for your client within and outside areas of your core competence.
I have a simple metric I use as a check on my behavior. How much am I talking? The more I talk, the less likely it is that I’m focusing on the other person.
Rule no. 2
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You and I are in sales. We sell our services. We create marketing materials. They consist of websites, blogs, newsletters, social media posts and videos.
The nature of those communications is self-aggrandizing. We are trying to demonstrate our expertise, experience and credentials. There’s a reason you often have a “Why Us?” or “How We’re Different” menu item on your home page. You want to show how you are special and unique. Doing so is difficult, which can cause you to push the envelope, stretching for “differences” that are marginal.
Here’s rule no. 2: Don’t believe your own press releases.
Doing so will lead to overconfidence and arrogance.
You may be familiar with the Dunning-Kruger effect. It is a cognitive bias that causes us to overestimate our own abilities. At the extreme, it leads to a perception we are superior to others.
You know more about investing and financial planning than most, but you most likely haven’t won the Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences. There are thousands of advisors (and many investors) as knowledgeable as you.
Recognize the fact that we tend to hype our abilities to win business. Tone down the volume and add some humility. It will be far more effective.
Whatever you do, don’t believe your own press releases.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives
