The 13 Rules for Networking at a Holiday Party

3. Have your tools of the trade

Leave the tool belt at home. Best to have business cards (yes, even with all the technology and social media at your fingertips, there is nothing quite like a business card!), a couple of throw away pens, index cards (so you can jot things down), maybe some breath mints, a name tag (worn on the right if possible so it’s visible upon shaking hands – if appropriate), and some holiday cheer! Try to stay off your cell phone and challenge yourself to listen and learn more from those you meet.

4. Initiate conversations

Initiate a conversation rather than waiting for someone to come over and meet you. Especially when there’s so much holiday hub-bub, spread the word! When you initiate a face-to-face conversation with someone you don’t already know, you can set a nice tone while showcasing your smarts and confidence. (I’m confident of that!) Also, if you can make someone who’s standing alone feel more comfortable, you’re both ahead of the game. “Hello! I’m Michael! Good to see you!” It’s as simple as that, but best to use your own name if it isn’t in fact Michael. Everyone can introduce themselves. The challenge that prevents us from being bold enough to offer an introduction at a party, mixer, conference or wherever is what do you say next? (So what now?) That’s where questions come in. See below!

5. Have questions to ask others – especially about big plans for the coming year

The best way to get a great conversation going is to ask questions. Lots of them! Be interested in learning about those you meet or reconnect with. How would you sum up your year? Did you get a chance to do something fun? What type of work do you do (if you don’t know yet)? Where do you work? Any big plans for the holidays? Who else do you know here? Did you accomplish all of your goals this year? What are some of your big goals for next year? What will you do to make sure you achieve them? Of course, if there is a football (or any sport) conversation to be had or something else fun you may have in common, go for it.

Conversations should be fun. From a business standpoint, is there anyone here I can introduce you to? How can I help you in your business? (Only if you like them and can truly help.) Of course, any questions about current events and light social banter are always welcomed.

Your conversation should not feel like an interview. It should feel like an easy-going pleasant conversation. If you truly connect, it will feel like you’re talking to a “soon to be” friend. The conversation should be an effortless back and forth. If it feels forced, then you may be speaking with someone that you don’t connect with easily – or at all. It happens! Then just move on after a few minutes after thanking them for the conversation and a “Nice to meet you!”

6. Ask to be introduced

In knowing who might be at the party, you can always ask for an introduction. Perhaps a good business contact, someone that has insight about a college you’re researching for your kid, or someone who targets the same markets that you do. I find the best way to ask for an introduction is to offer one – if you can. Or simply let the person with whom you’re speaking know what type of people (industry, profession, whatever) you’re ultimately looking to connect with. Be careful to never disrespect or downplay the conversation you’re currently in. Just saying!

7. Be polite in terminating conversations

In a networking scenario, I generally don’t speak with people longer than about eight minutes (without looking at my watch!). But at a holiday party, I may be a bit more relaxed about timeframes as conversations typically have more of a social flair – which is fun! When you want to end a conversation say something like, “It was great getting the chance to chat and I look forward to seeing you later (or again soon).”

8. The only thing you are selling is you

I was at a holiday party a couple of years back and there was a guy there for the sole purpose of generating venture capital for a product he was developing. He wasn’t looking to establish rapport or build a relationship. He was simply there to see if anyone was interested in a “business opportunity.” I was speaking with him for about two minutes before he hit me with a pitch followed by an awkward good bye (for him!). Remember, marketing collateral, PowerPoint presentations and sales pitches are a big no-no when networking. There should be no fact-finders or mention of products and services (or very little as you don’t want to make the conversation weird). The only thing you should be there to sell is you. And your awesomeness.

9. Have a specific objective

What are you looking to accomplish? At every event I attend, I look to accomplish two things – have fun and learn something. In that order. Nobody can prevent me (or you!) from accomplishing those two things. Keep that in mind! The focus on fun and learning directly impacts the way I have conversations and the people I meet. How cool is that? Then it’s easy to ask for advice, insight, and recommendations about my marketplace, networking organizations, and pretty much anything else. I’m also happy to talk about personal interests like sports, books, (or sports books!), or any topic that might be of mutual interest. Focus on fun and learning at your next event and see what happens.

10. Have your elevator speech handy

An elevator speech (which should be more like a positioning statement) is something you should always have top-of-mind – even at a holiday party. When someone asks about what you do, be specific and clear. If you can have a prepared (not rehearsed) statement about what you do, whom you help, what you know, and what you’re after, you might meet someone that can help you. If you’re not prepared with such a statement, you may never know. Also, be careful not to share how you do what you do in vivid detail unless someone asks you specifically. The last thing you want to do is monologue someone into nap time.

11. Be positive!

Look to meet with those that aren’t complaining about how bad things were this year. Try to keep things positive and upbeat. (Do you see a recurring theme?) It’s always a great thing to speak with professionals that love what they do and want to meet others that love what they do. I particularly enjoy meeting people that have big plans for the New Year – starting a new business, expanding into a different marketplace, planning a big vacation, buying a new car, joining a gym, running a marathon. When people are excited and passionate about what they want to do, I get excited and passionate about talking to them. I also get more excited about the things I’m doing. Excitement is contagious – or at least it is when you’re not complaining. Meeting great people is always much more productive and fun than hanging out with whiners.

12. Offer help

Again, you won’t hit it off with everyone at a networking meeting or holiday party. But when you do, it’s always great to offer help. I know this was mentioned earlier but it’s worth repeating. After learning about what someone does for work and what their initiatives are for the New Year, simply offer to be a resource as appropriate. That’s what networking is all about! By offering to be of help to others they may return the favor. That’s how it works!

13. Plan to follow up

Whenever you meet someone at an event, it is the start of what will, hopefully, be a long-lasting relationship. This is where handwritten “nice to meet you” cards, invitations on LinkedIn, and future meetings come in handy. Send an email or make a phone call to learn more about their business and see how you can help one another. If you made a promise to introduce someone to someone else, send an article, or provide further information, make sure you live up to your promise in the next 24 or 48 hours. Be reliable and true to your word. That leaves a great impression. Remember, busy people get things done!

The big payoff from networking doesn’t happen immediately. At least not usually. It does take time and work. Remember, it’s net-work! Hey, you might make a friend as you take in the New Year. Prepare your list, check it twice, and have a blast.

Just watch the eggnog and avoid the venture capital guy!

Michael Goldberg has helped thousands of financial advisors, brokers, planners, agents, reps, and producers generate hundreds of thousands of dollars to their bottom line. His firm, Knock Out Networking, focuses on helping firms be more successful at networking, referral generation and recruiting.

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