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I’ve never been as exhausted as the three times I brought children into this world. Hard to believe, but here are five things that are even more tired and worn out than that. If you’re using these analogies in your marketing, put them to rest.
1. I’m the quarterback
When I think of a quarterback, the image of a strapping young lad with chiseled abs is what comes to mind. Not a 55 year old, gray-haired financial advisor sitting in front of a Bloomberg terminal.
In other words, it’s overly aggrandizing to the point that the person hearing it will find it ridiculous. It’s like me saying that my writing is so entertaining that I am the Beyoncé of financial advisor marketing.
I’d love to believe I’m a rock star, but presenting myself this way is egotistical and naïve.
Advisors use this analogy to convey the idea that they are the relationship manager who directs the plays that the team under him or her makes. The quarterback executes the strategy, but is he or she who is responsible for creating it? Not necessarily.
For those of you who are using this analogy, did it ever occur to you that it would be much more accurate, and flattering, to liken yourself to the coach of the team?
2. Family love letter
The family love letter is an estate planning tool that many advisors use to help their clients think about the legacy that they want to leave to their heirs.
Here’s my problem. The phrase is uncouth.
I would never use the words “love letter” and “family” in the same phrase. That’s because all the love letters I’ve ever gotten have expressed ideas that were not meant for my family’s eyes and ears.
No need to say anything more on that topic. You get where I’m going with this.
I’d much rather hear something like, “family treasure chest” or “family odyssey” that does not combine family and romance.
3. Bond prices go up when interest rates go down, and vice versa. Just like a seesaw.
First of all, this analogy is not accurate. Bond prices don’t go up in a one-to-one ratio like a seesaw when interest rates fall because of duration and convexity. You’re misleading the investor.
Secondly, the analogy is simply not necessary. Just explain that bond prices move inversely with interest rates and have that be that. The person will understand. You don’t need the silly reference.
It’s condescending.
How would you feel if I said this to you, “When we rebrand your website, there may be some issues with the flow from one page to another. But don’t worry, just like Thomas the Train, we’ll chug right through them. Choo choo!”
This is a business relationship and there’s no need to be cute.
4. Three buckets
If you’re reading this blog, I’m 100% sure that you’ve used this tired old analogy before at some point.
Your liquidity needs fall into three buckets, your retirement savings can be grouped into three buckets, or the level of market risk you take comprises three buckets. There are tons of iterations of this. I hear it all over the place.
The objection I have to the three-buckets analogy is that it’s so commonly used that instead of calling the client’s attention to what you’re saying it has the opposite effect. It’s a boring #financialcliche.
Find something juicy instead. For example, if you like sports, then why don’t you use an analogy like this, “We’ll call the aggressive portion of your investment portfolio the Cincinnati Bengals…”
The person will relate to that. The Bengals are the thugs of the NFL. You may even get them to chuckle.
5. Doctor-surgeon
"If you have a cold you go to a doctor. If you need heart surgery, you go to a surgeon. That’s why you should hire me to pick stocks for you; because I’m an expert in investing money, not a generalist who provides comprehensive guidance, but not stock picking."
I have a few problems with this analogy. First of all, most advisors don’t possess the skill level of a surgeon. They didn’t go to school for 10 years to learn how to pick stocks. There’s not empirically as pronounced a demarcation between financial advisors and money managers as there is between general practitioners and surgeons.
Let’s think about what a surgeon does. A surgeon is called in to execute specific operations, but doesn’t manage the relationship on an ongoing basis. They aren’t responsible for making sure their patients come in for their annual checkup and get their flu shot on time. They cut people up and sew back together. Period. They’re not interested in talking to anybody after that.
If you’re calling yourself a financial services “surgeon” who specializes in money management, then all you should do is money management. You shouldn’t be sending out the holiday cards, conducting the performance reviews, etc.
The people who are dedicated money managers spend their whole day analyzing stocks and making trades with their eyes glued to the Bloomberg terminal. They hate talking to people. This is not what most advisors do. They keep up with the market, but most of their time is spent managing client relationships and prospecting to find the next new client.
This analogy is quite misleading.
Why it’s important to stop using these analogies
Creativity and humor are a lethal combination in marketing for any industry. There is a paucity of both when it comes to how advisors express themselves.
As someone who spends most of her days and nights looking at advisor websites, blogs, marketing brochures etc., I can tell you that the ones who get the most attention are those who take the time to do things differently. Even subtle variations go far.
You don’t have to go too far. Some of the advisors I work with are conservative and want to stick closer to traditional themes, while others are willing to take more risk. It’s a matter of personal preference and where you are in your business.
If I were an advisor trying to reach Millennials or even Gen-Xers, I would not use these “advisor speak” analogies. I’d come up with something new and original. Younger generations are very skeptical of financial institutions. Using the terminology that is typical of the industry is going to align you with a perceived lack or morals and values, in their eyes.
Inventing a new vocabulary is hard to do and not the first thing on everyone’s priority list. To hear my advice on how to escape being a #financialcliche, please feel free to visit my website or contact me through APViewpoint.
Sara Grillo, CFA, is a top financial writer with a focus on marketing and branding for investment management, financial planning, and RIA firms. Prior to launching her own firm, she was a financial advisor and worked at Lehman Brothers. Sara graduated from Harvard with a degree in English literature and has an MBA from NYU Stern in Quantitative Finance.
Read more articles by Sara Grillo
Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
