One Question You Should Ask Every Couple


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Lotte Meijer on Unsplash

Dan Solin PhotoAdvisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.

Few situations are as fraught with minefields as being interviewed by a couple. You need to be mindful of the fact that they may have different agendas and may view investing from different perspectives.

Then there’s the issue of dealing with the alpha male or female who dominates the conversation and keeps the other person from expressing his or her views.

There’s a tendency for advisors to direct the conversation towards the dominant person and exclude the spouse.

A critical question

Over time, I’ve come up with one strategy that has been a positive way to begin the meeting with couples. Ask this question:

“How did the two of you meet?”

I learned from my coaching clients that this question elicits a uniformly positive response. Most couples will immediately smile and look fondly at each other. They will then tell the story of how they met, often interrupting each other to inject a humorous detail.

Previously, I attributed this positive response to a basic premise of the Solin Process. People love to talk about themselves. Your goal is to empower them to do so. Once you do, their impression of you will be favorably influenced.

While that’s true, and there’s sound data to support it, there something else at play that’s triggered by this question.