We have all had experience trying to convert difficult (sometimes really difficult) prospects into clients.
In a recent article, I discussed some of the issues I have confronted when dealing with narcissistic advisors. But clients, or prospective clients, can display narcissistic behavior too.
My anecdotal experience with these advisors has been that I am unable to assist them in gathering assets under management, because my approach requires an intense focus on the needs of the prospect. Narcissistic advisors, however, tend to require that all attention be centered on them. Other characteristics of narcissism include feelings of self-importance, a need for admiration and an inability to empathize with others.
To be clear, such traits are at the extreme end of the spectrum for difficult personalities. It’s not likely you will frequently encounter them, on either the advisor or the prospect side of the conference-room table.
Here are some tips you may find helpful if you do.
Determine if you want to convert this prospect
It's not difficult to identify a prospect with a challenging personality. They often want to dominate the conversation. They don't listen very well. Because they believe they are special and unique, they demand an exceptionally high level of service. They also are very difficult to please, frequently change their demands and are more likely than other clients to disagree over fees.
Nevertheless, there are circumstances which it still makes business sense to convert such a prospect into a client. Assuming they meet your firm’s asset requirements and you believe that working with them could be mutually beneficial, you may decide to pursue the relationship.
Let them do the talking
Many years ago, I had dinner with a prospect who is a retired executive at a large industrial corporation. He had a very dominating personality. As soon as we sat down, and before we ordered anything, I asked him this question: "Tell me about your career at…." He was still going strong when we completed dinner. I can't really recall saying anything else to him.
The next day, I received an email from this prospect telling me how much he had enjoyed the dinner and how he found me to be one of the most interesting people he had ever met. I sometimes wonder how he arrived at that impression, because he never asked me any questions and had little information about me other than the fact that I wrote investment books.
If you want to make someone with a challenging personality happy, and have him or her ascribe positive traits to you, let that person steer the conversation. Fortunately, this is not difficult.
Don't argue
Those with difficult personalities often have a high level of confidence in their opinions, both within and outside their area of expertise. Arguing with them is rarely effective. They believe they are exceptions and that data do not apply to them. If you tell this type of prospect that he or she has only a 5% chance of "beating the market" over the long term, the prospect will tell you that he or she is certainly among the 5% able to do so.
Contradicting such prospects, by presenting data or otherwise, is not an effective way to convert them into clients.
Use social proof and positive association
Instead of arguing, the difficult prospect is far more likely to be persuaded to invest with you if you can demonstrate that similar people are investing with you or following the strategies recommend. If he or she is (or was) the president of a software firm, for example, telling the prospect that presidents of comparable firms are clients or have endorsed your strategy will resonate.
This kind of prospect is also susceptible to the power of positive association. A coaching client once told me about a discussion she had with a self-centered prospect. She told him that Warren Buffett had instructed his trustee to invest his wife's inheritance using low-management-fee index funds. That followed a strategy similar to the one she was proposing. The association with Warren Buffett had a profound impact on her prospect.
Appeal to a higher duty
Another coaching client told me recently about a prospect that was employing a set of complex investing strategies. He was proud of the fact that only he could understand them. Rather than trying to dissuade him from continuing down this course, for which there was very little evidence-based support, the advisor asked if he was concerned about the ability of his children to manage his assets in the event of his death.
The prospect indicated this was a concern. The advisor then suggested that it might be more responsible, as a father, to change his investment strategy to a simpler one and engage an advisor who could meet with his children to begin the transition process. The prospect agreed and became a client.
Approach the difficult prospect with care. Difficult prospects often have a high opinion of themselves. Anything you can do to reinforce this view in a genuine and sincere way will be effective.
Dan Solin is the director of investor advocacy for the BAM Alliance and a wealth advisor with Buckingham. He is a New York Times best-selling author of the Smartest series of books. His latest book is The Smartest Sales Book You'll Ever Read. He limits his sales coaching practice to advisory firms that advocate evidence-based investing.
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