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I spent almost two years doing research for my book, The Smartest Sales Book You’ll Ever Read. In that time, I read hundreds of academic studies and books on persuasion. I have given countless workshops, speeches and individual coaching sessions for evidence-based advisors. Here’s what I have learned.
The “Solin method” for converting prospects into clients works. And it’s a radical departure from the norm. It involves, counterintuitively, less work by the advisor, no selling and very little presenting. That’s where I have run into trouble with advisors who exhibit a particular personality trait.
What is narcissistic personality disorder?
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by feelings of grandiosity and self-importance, a need for admiration, a conviction of being special or unique and – most significantly – a lack of empathy. Narcissists are often arrogant and haughty in their relationships with others, who they believe are inferior to them.
As with most personality disorders, there is a wide range of narcissistic behaviors. In my experience with advisors, the one constant is the belief that it’s “all about me.”
In clinical settings, 2-16% is diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. Most narcissists (between 50% and 75%) are men, which will come as no surprise to many women.
I have dealt with many narcissistic advisors. I don’t know if the percentage of narcissists among investment advisors is greater than in the general population, but I would not be surprised if it was.
Investment advisors and narcissism
It’s quite easy for investment advisors (especially male advisors) to be perceived as narcissists, whether or not they actually meet the clinical criteria. For example, they have expertise, which may cause them to feel superior to prospects and clients. If an advisor has achieved success, this may reinforce his or her belief that he or she is unique.
When dealing with prospects, these advisors can exhibit behavior that is typically associated with narcissism. They dominate conversations, believing that what they are saying is vastly more important than the views of the prospect. They impatiently wait for opportunities to interrupt the prospect so they can reassert their role. They believe they can charm their way into sales, because of their innate charisma.
When challenged, they react with righteous indignation. They believe resistance to their message is an attack on their integrity. They have no genuine interest in prospects as people. When the narcissistic advisor asks questions, they are perfunctory and don’t reflect a desire to actually elicit information.
These advisors are incapable of sharing feelings and emotions or experiences. Because they can’t express genuine emotions, they avoid personal discussions or fake emotion if they feel it is necessary to express feelings at all.
Narcissistic advisors are happiest when they are lecturing others – preferably from the head of the room using PowerPoint, even in small group settings – to reinforce the importance of what they are saying. Assuming prospects can slip questions into the discourse, they are viewed as an opportunity to launch into a protracted response, with the goal of reinforcing superior knowledge and expertise.
Narcissism impedes sales
When I ask a narcissistic advisor about how a meeting with a prospect went, the response is predictable. The narcissistic advisor almost always believes the meeting went great – until he or she learns the prospect decided not to become a client. When I ask why the advisor thinks the meeting was unsuccessful, the typical response is dismissive: “The prospect didn’t get it” or “You can lead a horse to water, but …” The narcissistic advisor never accepts personal accountability for failure.
If you are a narcissist, the Solin method won’t help you. My program for converting prospects into clients will work only if you have a genuine interest in other people. Success depends on your ability to listen, not talk, to elicit information, rather than providing it and to connect emotionally with prospects, not preach to them.
If you want to be the star of your show, you can find many opportunities to do so. But as an advisor trying to increase your assets under management, you’re at a distinct competitive disadvantage.
Dan Solin is the director of investor advocacy for the BAM Alliance and a wealth advisor with Buckingham. He is a New York Times best-selling author of the Smartest series of books. His latest book is The Smartest Sales Book You'll Ever Read. He limits his sales coaching practice to advisory firms that advocate evidence-based investing.
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