Out of Office Messages that Make You Sound Like the Grinch

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Is your out-of-office message conveying the holiday spirit? If you’re most people, the answer is ”no.”

Where the out of office message goes wrong

The point of an out of office message is to make the person who is trying to communicate with you aware that they need to address urgent inquiries with someone else. It’s to cover you from liability and most of the time it comes off that way: like a legal disclaimer, a court summons or a cold brush off.

Here’s how most out of office messages come off sounding:

“Mom, I’m busy playing Fortnite. I’ll clean my room later – I’ll get to it when I’m done – just leave me alone! Go bother somebody else.”

Such a nag. How dare you interrupt me?

“Dear ex-wife (husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, business partner, roommate), I’m living large here in Paris on a luxury trip with the Kardashians, Taylor Swift and Meghan Markle. Sorry loser, you’re home slaving away at your job.”

Don’t you wish you were one of the cool kids?

Jerky out of office message examples

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, consider the following real-life examples that I’m sure some of you are using (names withheld to protect the innocent.)

Thank you for your email. I am currently out of the office on business returning Wednesday November 28th. I will respond at my earliest convenience.

Let me ask you this: Does anybody respond at their convenience to all emails they receive when they’re out? I mean, it’s the biggest nonsense promise in business.

If a client emails me with a huge deal and they want to hire me, I could be in the middle of delivering a baby – I’m emailing back right away!

It’s true, right?

Don’t act like you don’t filter your messages and respond to the people paying you the big checks. Even if you’re on the world’s great hike on top of Mt. Kilimanjaro, you email back. But if you’re some lowly vendor or if the matter is unimportant, it goes to cyberwaste and the poor sender has to chase you down later.

And last of all, the tone – is it just me or is it getting chilly in here. In fact I’d better put on some gloves as I type here at my computer.

I am currently out of the office on business with limited access to email. For immediate assistance please contact Betty Hernandez at [email protected].

Are we in court?

And just curious, does Betty ever actually respond to people who get funneled over?

Less jerky out of office examples that still go astray

Here are some less jerky, but still missing the mark, out of office messages.

Sorry that I missed you. I will be out of the office traveling to our annual conference and returning to the office on Tuesday, January 6th. I will be checking emails daily and will get back to you by end of day. If you need immediate assistance, please contact Betty Hernandez at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Nicer tone, but still a bit chilly.

I will be out of the office on Wednesday, November 21st and Thursday, November 22nd since my kids are out of school in honor of Thanksgiving. Please contact me on my cell phone at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

I appreciate the gesture, but are you giving away valuable info to vendors who will perpetually annoy you with the information you’re giving out? Is including your cell phone, for example, the best move? This message has a nice tone but it’s almost too personal.

Do I really care about the intricacies of your personal life? No offense, but I don’t.

Questions to ask yourself about your out of office message

Do you really really need to use one – can you just respond on a delayed basis and make everyone happy?

The risk of sounding like the above examples means I don’t use an out of office message. Plus I’m an internet addict. The only time I’m out of pocket long enough to annoy people is when I have a baby. The three times I’ve done this I figured that everyone who is paying me money was made well aware of my delivery date, and if it was urgent they could contact me on my cell phone.

Are you aggravating the person with your tone?

Are you really going to do whatever you say you are going to do? Is the person you’re deflecting to going to respond or is it just a diversion tactic to placate the sender.

How to sound better in your out of office message

If I had one, it would go something like this:

Hi there. Had to take a break today to avoid a total meltdown. I can respond within three hours if it’s an emergency (example: something going wrong with a live article we published) on my cell phone which is xxx-xxx-xxxx. Otherwise I pinky swear that I will respond thoughtfully tomorrow.

Here’s a great example from a colleague of mine, employee-retention expert Chason Hecht:

Wow, that was a fast response, how did you do that?

Honestly, I am out of the office and have limited communication until Monday, July 23. I will return your message as soon as possible.

Where did you go?

I often travel to speak at conferences, keynote events or meet with clients who want innovative ideas and practices in Talent Management. Sometimes I go to Alaska, Mexico, a solar eclipse or a cabin in the mountains because it helps me to be a better father, leader and friend.

What if I really need to talk to someone at Retensa?

There is always someone who can help, if it is urgent please contact Tanya at +1 (212) 545-1280. You're in good hands with her.

Out of Office Messages that Make You Sound Like the Grinch

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