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While I’d love to tell you that it’s all roses, a big part of growing your business has to do with how well you deal with negative people.
Here are strategies to counteract that negativeness.
Avoid them
The first recourse is getting the heck away from all negative people, even those who are slightly so, both in your business and personal life.
But this is not an option if you want to be successful.
Why?
Negative people are small-minded takers, and they will eventually wind up taking all your energy. With it goes your money or any prospects for getting more of it. Moreover, negative people bring chaos. Have you noticed that negative people always have negative things happening to them and its never their fault?
If you are at a standstill in your business, or you’ve had a bunch of clients leave, or you can’t seem to close deals, ask yourself this: Is there a negative person in the mix here? Probably yes.
Cut them off.
That means negative employees, family members, and clients. Put them in a box and ring-fence them to temper the negativity. For situations where you cannot cut them off, this may mean only texting with them instead of having a full-on meeting or phone call.
Now, realizing it may not be possible to eliminate every negative person, what do you do next?
Get a super positive attitude yourself
Being successful is about giving other people what they need. If you are so caught up in your own mind that you can’t see things for what they are, it’s going to be a lot harder to do that. After you distance yourself from or cast off entirely the negative people, check your own attitude. You are the only person whose attitude you can control 100%.
Don’t you be negative.
Moreover, having a super positive attitude helps inspire those around you, and that is the type of person who people want to work with. Even negative people will yield to your positivity – eventually they’ll be worn down, because negativity is weak and unsustainable.
If you find yourself thinking or saying things like this, stop and take some time to work on your positivity:
- I’m not doing this LinkedIn thing unless you can guarantee it’ll work.
- That CPA never sends me any business. (Really? And what makes you entitled to it?)
- The market went down, and it’s ruined my business this year. (it’s not my fault, WAAAAAAAHHHH)
- This client is a DIYer and they are impossible. (But they are your client, aren’t they?)
- This client asks too many questions. (But isn’t that what you told them you were there for?)
- That jerk of a prospect never called me back. (Is your thumb broken? Call again until you earn their respect)
- This client is a jerk. (Good that they are jerks. You want the jerks. They are very sincere. If they are giving you a chance that is their way of saying they at least respect you.)
- I don’t have time for anyone other than people who are willing to pay me for what I sell right now this very minute. (Selfish)
- There’s never any parking spaces. (Entitled)
- I can’t make it. (Instead of “Is there a replay or another time you are having an event?”)
- I don’t have time to train this associate advisor, they’ll have to take the CFP and learn themselves. (Unkind)
- No use throwing good money after bad. (Also no use in giving up at the first sign of a challenge.)
- That’s what their (fill in the blank: CPA, attorney, etc.) is for!
- Finding new clients has gotten tougher. It never used to be this hard. (Always hard if you do it the wrong way).
- I already tried that, and it didn’t work. (Instead of asking what went wrong)
- This person is of no professional use to me, so I am going to blow them off. (Small -minded).
- I don’t provide this service because my clients don’t need it. (Are you sure? Then why are they asking you for it?)
Replace these negative, derailing thoughts with more positive ones.
Surround yourself with positive people
Seek out positive people to surround yourself with. Look at the people you interact with daily. Are they positive all the time? Most of the time? It has an impact.
To draw people closer to you and your business, surround yourself with ultra-positive people. It’ll attract other positive people. Negative repels. Moreover, to keep positive you need daily inspiration.
My partner, Antonio, is one of the toughest people I know. He had no father, was born into poverty, and his immediate family was full of substance abusers. . Yet he became a successful businessman many times over, has always been a sober man, and is a wonderful, loving father to our four kids.
He constantly inspires me. There was one month when I was way short of my revenue goal. There were two days left in the month. His response?
“Month ain’t over yet, mama.”
This is the type of support you need for the times when we are tempted to negativity.
Escape tactics
But what if you can’t get away? If you have negative people that you must deal with daily – a coworker, an employee, a client, etc. – here are some steps I recommend:
Hell alert
I don’t want to go to hell, and I know that interacting with sinful people may cause me to become sinful. In my mind, a “hell alert” is triggered whenever I am in this situation. That way I know to say a Hail Mary.
I am a devout Catholic, by the way.
Storm cloud image
Whenever I have to interact with a negative person, I envision a storm cloud over their heads and the sound of a thunderclap, with a downpour raining down on their face while they are attacking me. It makes me laugh, which helps to ward off the attack.
Nasty folder
I’m constantly getting nasty emails from people, and it’s a downer when they hang out at the top of my inbox all day. I created what I call the “nasty folder” to file it away and avoid ruining my positive mood.
Overflow with positive words
Force yourself. Sometimes you have to literally force yourself to be positive. Whenever someone is a jerk to you, practice saying this to whatever they say:
If you respond this way to a negative attack, the attacker will become perplexed and may stop. If not, at least it will shield you from being poisoned by their negative words.
Even if you’re not facing an attack, saying positive things to other people on a constant basis is a wonderful way to keep your own spirits up. It’s hard to be sad if you are overflowing with positive words coming out of your mouth. Yes, sometimes you will have to force yourself.
When I was studying for the CFA exam, I used to get really upset when I would do badly on a practice test. One day I started saying this to myself:
Gimme some positive energy, girl! Whoo hooo!
I literally sat there at my desk saying this to myself over and over until I felt better.
Stay away from La La Land
Now don’t get me wrong – a little bit of an edge isn’t a bad thing.
I personally can’t stand the uber happy woo-woo people. It’s irritating because to some extent they are ignorant of reality, and some use it as a form of denial. Moreover, a lot of these La La Land people quickly reverse course and become snipers once reality strikes.
Stay sober.
A touch of negativity, if in the form of sobriety, is a good thing.
Sara’s upshot
Look, the world is a cold, hard place full of negative people. Build a community of positive people who won’t put you in the ground.
Here are some tools that may help.
I have a social media training program and an e-book.
I’m also available for consulting or writing content, just send me a message.
If you enjoy my writings, I have a daily newsletter you can sign up for here.
Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next month!
Sara Grillo, CFA, is a marketing consultant who helps investment management, financial planning, and RIA firms fight the tendency to scatter meaningless clichés on their prospects and bore them as a result. Prior to launching her own firm, she was a financial advisor.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
