How to Escape the Terrible Meeting Monster in Two Words or Less

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I have four kids under nine years old. Every night we deal with the monsters who live under their beds. But I have my own monsters. They invade my work daily.

I came up with a phrase: “The meeting monster.”

Escape the meeting monster at all costs

We all dread the death clutch of the meeting monster.

I picture him like Cookie Monster but with a stock ticker tape spilling out of his mouth instead of cookies, ready to devour you slowly while you sit helplessly chained to your Zoom line. His steel talons claw the minutes away as you “jump on Zoom” to “discuss issues” and “come to a consensus.” Don’t let him lure you in with the bait that “we should chat sometime.”

I hate meetings so much. The other day I point blank said, “I’m sorry. I’m going to die if this horrible conversation goes on any longer. Can we end it please before this gets any worse?”

Here are two-word phrases to escape the meeting monster’s claws of steel.

1. Call me

The other day I posted a comment to social media about how I needed a recommendation for an event insurance agent for my Immersion 2024 gathering. A buddy of mine commented on my post, “Sara, call me tomorrow to discuss.”

“To discuss?”

I trembled in fear. It was the bait of the meeting monster! Do I succumb?

The next day I give in and dial my buddy’s phone. Thing is, he must have been fearing the meeting monster just as much as I was – because he answers the phone and just says, “Call this guy,” and rattles off some number.